Comments on: Is It True Behind Every Successful Woman Is a Man?

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:42:40 +0000

Gini,

The person whose comment you quoted, Christiancon3, is apparently not a man but a woman. You can view her profile on USATODAY.com at

http://www.usatoday.com/community/profile.htm?plckPersonaPage=PersonaBlog&plckUserId=8704582a7e0006c4&UID=8704582a7e0006c4

Click on the comments tab and read some of her posts. You will be amazed and saddened by what you read.

Thank you for a wonderful article

By: Davina Brewer

Davina Brewer — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:29:45 +0000

I’ve never been comfortable with “women are more threatened by other women,” as I’ve experienced territoriality from men and women over the years, both protecting their little seats of power, challenged more by my intelligence and abilities than my gender.

While the concept of the USA Today piece is a little sexist, it’s as you write “unfortunately” true by default: men (mostly) are the ones in power, hold the most senior positions, ergo men promote (mentor) women. Statistics.

Aside from the crackpots that commented on the story, even the supportive arguments bug me:

“I am a man who had a woman as a mentor. She was the most brilliant woman I have ever met and had charisma as well, but served as a great role model and could do about anything. She was beautiful too, but did not have to be. That was a bonus.”

Just like women in politics have their hairstyles polled by USA Today, a woman in business is judged by appearance.

“..the stereotypical female manager that was compensating for something or other and seemed to think that being a jerk added something positive to their style. I would blame the management that promoted them for this though – it seemed that the upper executives somehow expected a certain personality in women to think that they were promotable when in truth a woman can act like a woman and be competent just as a man can act like a gentleman and be competent.”

Men who are jerks or other negative terms are just that: they are jerks because they are jerks, not because they are men. Yet for a women in business, jerky behavior is part of a “style” and “compensation” but somehow acting “like a woman” – whatever that means – is deemed incompetent, not leadership worthy.

That said, I am glad to read that you have found women you’ve connected with, as have I. Part of that probably has to do with the statistical numbers of women in PR and social media. I like to think it has more do to with the people: smart, capable communications professionals, many of whom happen to be women.

Sorry to highjack your blog with such a long comment. Great post. Thanks.

By: WomanCEO (WomanCEO™)

WomanCEO (WomanCEO™) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:08:15 +0000

Is It True Behind Every Successful Woman Is a Man? Ooohh. Would love to know your thoughts on this one http://bit.ly/UpRRy

By: Dave

Dave — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:30:54 +0000

Gini,
Once again, you give us a well-written thought-provoking post! What I particularly appreciate is your ability to be transparent without being narcissistic. I believe that this is what is necessary to become successful in the rapidly changing workplace. It has been a slow process, but we are moving away from the old patriarchal “good-ole’-boy” top-down management models that have created many of the problems that organizations face today. To survive in a globally-connected, real-time market place, then organizations must embrace the ability to create trust within relationships through communication that respects the voice of all stakeholders-especially the consumers! The new world demands that people feel connected to the institution in a way that goes deeper than a transactional experience. Let’s face it guys, history has shown us that for all of our ability to swagger and yell we might be able to get short-term profits up, but we haven’t exactly cornered the market on getting our employees and consumers to really buy into our vision, take ownership, and breed the kind of loyalty that will only come when an individual is tied by the heart strings. There is a distrust of institutions that has been sown throughout our country by the vindictive, back-stabbing, selfish, greedy nature which has exemplified many of the transactions that have steamrolled our economy. Much of this can be attributed to the “us vs. them” war-room mentality that takes place in organizations, where everyone has to jockey for position by sharpening their teeth on the neighbor’s leg bone as they prepare to follow the alpha male into battle (at least until he is taken out of the picture so someone can jockey for his position.) When it comes to women in the workplace, it is dangerous to generalize because there are always exceptions. (Believe me, sometimes I wish it were socially acceptable to punch a woman because I have met some that deserve it!) However, most women in our society have been socialized to be more relational than men, therefore are better listeners, and may gravitate toward a transformational leadership style. This is exactly what we need within the workplace, and I think women are poised to make unheard of strides toward transforming our business cultures to adapt to a new world! One last thing I want to say: if a woman OR A MAN (I know-shocking, right?!?) wants to stay at home to be a spouse or parent, or caretaker, s/he should not be frowned on for that choice-nor should s/he be blacklisted from the corporate world when s/he is ready to return. Our society has it pretty screwed up when the only activities that are valued are the ones that produce a dollar! For those who complain about women being in the workplace instead of the home, I agree one of the reasons for society’s ills is the breakdown of the family. But perhaps the reason why our culture has so many problems related to women being in the workplace is because there are so many knuckle-dragging troglodytes (of both sexes) hanging out in offices and clinging to stereotypes while they ignore their role of being a parent/spouse/caretaker in favor of bringing home a bigger brontosaurus than the one their neighbor has!

By: Teri

Teri — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:55:48 +0000

Wow, I don’t want to bring myself to read that USA Today article and accompanying comments. I can’t deal with the Neanderthal mentality.

I have had horrendous and fabulous female managers and colleagues, just as I’ve had horrendous and fabulous male managers and colleagues. I think the mistake that some women make is expecting a natural “sisterhood” where there is automatic bonding and they are shocked to find vicious competitiveness or at best, blase neutrality where thy hoped for mutual support and assistance.

Color me wary, but not cynical. I have made it a point to be the kind of manager, mentor and colleague that I would like to have, regardless of the gender of the people I’m managing, mentoring and collaborating with. As a result, I have a strong network of individuals who will typically put me at the top of their priorities when I cry for help. As a woman who has climbed to senior management in a variety of industries and organizations, I feel it is my responsibility to set a positive example for other women, and not give in to the cliche of the corporate catfight. No thanks.

By: Jeff Lipschultz

Jeff Lipschultz — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:54:52 +0000

What comes to my mind are three little words: “Diversity of Thought.”
I don’t care if you are man or women when I look for mentorship, or from another country or background, for that matter. Bottom line: Does the mentor offer valuable experience that pertains to my needs at the time.
I’ve had mentors from walks of life for all types of different subjects. They all brought value.

As companies become more and more diverse in their population of employees, the odds of having a mentor from another camp will be more and more likely. And won’t it be nice to have a couple of different thoughts on how to tackle a tough problem. Perhaps a melding of the two would be even better.

In fact, in most cases, a BLEND of a man’s approach and woman’s approach to tackling a problem is best. Seek out both.

By: Lesley

Lesley — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:47:50 +0000

See my response here – http://www.starvingcollegegirl.com

By: Jenifer Morack

Jenifer Morack — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:23:38 +0000

After reading Del Jone’s article in USA Today, I tried to remember my “company days” and the mentor’s of past. I will agree that most were men but I’ve had a few women challenge and educate me. As increasing numbers of women advance to executive levels, I believe we will see the result of more women mentors. There is another issue that was not appropriate for Del’s topic but does demand discussion and that is the issue of “choice”. Many women at many different levels in organizations will make a choice to either leave the workplace permanently or take time off to care for children. This time certainly affects the woman’s career and her ability to move up the corporate ladder to become that much needed mentor.

When I was a young woman and working in corporate American I encountered the same culture that Gini speaks of, in response to Del’s article, with regards to women colleagues. I too, felt the competition. Gini, it is unfortunate that you find the “women only” organizations unhelpful, unsupportive and uncooperative. Here in NJ, we have a wonderful woman’s organization, The New Jersey Organization of Women Business Owners (NJAWBO). This group strives to better all members via mentoring and education. My business has experienced a large ROI with new clients and employees via NJAWBO. Gini, I will say that I do think that sometimes “most women see other females as competition”, but I’d like to believe that it’s only for that last awesome pair of Burberry black patent leather booties!

By: Matthew Dibble

Matthew Dibble — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 13:00:06 +0000

My first and only boss that has ever mentored me is a woman. She was tough, fair, driven but unbelievably sensitive to others as well. I can not say enough about the business and personal lessons I learned from her.
It’s because of her that I now gravitate towards women in the workplace. My current business is for everyone, but it tends to generate interest from mostly women and I believe that they are a bit more well rounded at work than men. They are many times concerned for the personal aspects of the employee and how that can help or harm performance. Which, if you’ve ever been lucky enough to have a boss like that, is a wonderful trait.
Women should stay home and take care of the house? What year is this?

By: Joe Heidler

Joe Heidler — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:35:26 +0000

Has anyone examined whether the inverse could also be true. Although all of my mentors have been men, I know that I would not be where I am today if it were not for my wife. I believe that most successful men have the love and support of someone to allow them to do what they do. In the end the people who get ahead are the ones who surround themselves with others, be they mentors or supporters, male or female who help them to drive life passionately in a positive way.